- Join the Club...and Share Your Story
- Share Your Story: Multiple Affairs?
- Share Your Story: Finding Out (Part 3)
- Books for the Betrayed
- Share Your Story: Finding Out, Part 4 (3 is full!!...
- Feeling Stuck: Part 8 (FULL: Please post in Part 9)
- Feeling Stuck: Part 9 (FULL: PLEASE POST IN PART 10)
- Feeling Stuck: Part 10 (Wow, we're a whole lotta s...
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Why Improving Your Sex Life Won't Stop Him From Cheating
Unfortunately, in the days (and sometimes months and years) following D-Day, many of us wives devote entirely too much brain activity to berating ourselves for what we perceive as our sexual shortcomings: we're not va-va-voom enough, we're not adventurous enough, we aren't available enough, our boobs are too small, our ass is too big and blah blah blah right into crazy-ville.
Yet books and articles featuring expert after expert report that men usually don't cheat for sex but generally for attention, praise, escape, excitement. In other words, things that they could get in their own marriage but aren't entirely sure how to. And believe me, this is not offered up by way of excuse, but explanation. My sympathy for those poor men whose wives just don't appreciate them is...ummm...non-existent.
But when we wives remain focused on the sex itself, we miss the chance to improve our marriages (assuming we haven't already sent him packing!) in ways that are much deeper and more long-lasting.
By all means, have crazy sex if it helps you reconnect (after all the STD test results are in, of course!). But don't delude yourself into thinking that good sex will keep you two connected...or him from straying.