interview with Laura Munson, author of This Is Not the Story You Think It Is in which she makes some powerful points about how we can handle betrayal.
Munson had been married 20 years when her husband offered up the "I'm not in love with you and don't know if I ever was" speech. Though it seems there wasn't infidelity, he was certainly primed for it, given his disconnect from his marriage.
But Munson, rather than adopting some of the more...ahem...common strategies (kicking him out, threatening to screw him financially, begging him to love you, etc. etc.) decided to simply...wait. She says she "believed in us" and knew she had to get our of his way to let him find what he seemed to be searching for.
Despite her husband's desertion, Munson maintains that she managed to find peace and happiness, quite unexpectedly. And though she didn't know how her story would end, she was determined that she would live happily ever after.
As it turns out, her husband returned to the marriage, having gone through his crisis and become clearer about what really did matter to him.
So much of what Munson relies on ("just breathe", "live in the present moment") offers up balm for all our wounded souls. Not easy, but simple. And effective.