- Join the Club...and Share Your Story
- Books for the Betrayed
- Share Your Story: Finding Out, Part 4 (3 is full!!...
- Share Your Story: Multiple Affairs PART 2
- Feeling Stuck: Part 14 (FULL. Please post in 15...)
- Stupid S#*t Cheaters Say
- Feeling Stuck? Share your story... (Part 15)
- Just found out? Share your story...
Thursday, July 8, 2010
When "Time" Feels Like a Four-Letter Word
After my D-day, time felt far more like an enemy than a friend. The thought of dragging myself through another day, another week, another month of this version of hell seemed like far more than I could manage.
And yet, what most of us are seeking in the aftermath of betrayal, is assurance that time will heal. That memories will fade. That mind movies will stop. That our heart will one day beat without pain.
The good news is that's an assurance I can give. Happily, easily and with confidence.
The bad news is that I can't give you a timeline.
That largely depends on your situation (has your husband cut off all contact? is he remorseful? has he or you left the marriage and created a separation agreement? is the OW out of your life? and so on...) and on how you're handling it.
The more you can find support for yourself through this, I believe, the quickly you'll get through it. The better able you are to manage the inevitable pain (running into the OW, explaining to your children, finding more information...), the more quickly you'll move to a place where the pain lessens.
It will take time...that four-letter word.
But with time, you'll be able to hear a certain song, or look at a particular photograph or talk about the affair(s) with a friend without feeling as if your heart is in a vise.